Sunday, March 18, 2012
Calling it quits 03/18/12
Well I can't say I didn't really try. I can't say I didn't want this more than anything in the world. I do love him more than anything but I just don't think the feeling is mutual. I know he cares about me but I want the love, I can't settle for anything less. I feel like I am having to compete with a laptop and a cell phone and there is no competing with that. I don't know if he's always talking to one of them, I do know that sometimes he gets texts at the most inappropriate times. He tells me it's some kind of notification for Facebook or something else but I know better. It's funny sometimes how he tries to hide it from me. I gave myself a challenge today to see if I could turn him on and finish without him touching me or doing it himself. Epic fail. I got him turned on but I couldn't get him off. Is it me? It's gotta be. I guess I just don't do it for him. Maybe if he thought about her when I was touching him. How on earth could I ever suggest that to him? No, if I can't do anything for him then I need to just let it go so he can find someone who can. This is so hard to do, I don't want to. And I think that I need to quit the sex with him too, that is just prolonging the inevitable. So to all of my friends who have supported me through all this even though most of you knew how it would end up, thank you. I will keep posting on here my struggle to get through this, I know it's gonna be a lot of hurt but that's the first step on getting over it, right?