Giving 100% 03/03/12

So I haven't been on top of my game the last few days, I seem to have caught a touch of the flu. Just wanted to give you a little update on what's going on. I woke up to Lance coming in my room and wanting to cuddle. He went to sleep and was snoring but guess what? No cell phone. It was nice. We went to Augusta, GA and spent the day at the mall. As he was driving I wanted to reach up and rub his head like I used to but for some reason was just too scared to. Finally he put his hand on my leg. That was a moment I had missed. He didn't even bring his phone out of his pocket the whole drive there. I was beginning to think that maybe he was trying to give me 100% effort of wanting this also. As the day ended and we headed home, things got really heated in the car. I didn't think we were gonna make it in the house. So as we are laying in bed, he just keeps kissing me and looking into my eyes and not saying anything. I just knew this was going to be the moment I finally get to hear the words I've been waiting eight years to hear, I love you. I knew he was going to say it. But he didn't. I don't know if he will ever say it. I don't know if he does. This is one of the things I'm just not sure about. So what if I said it to him? Why am I so scared to say it? I think the thought of his reaction terrifies me. So this is where I'm at right now. Things are going good, let's hope they keep going in the right direction.